Parenting Challenges

Disclaimer:  Raw, ugly, heart honesty contained in this post.  Only read if you really want to get to know a not-so-nice part of my heart better. ;)

Over recent weeks months years I feel like God has been teaching me over and over again, through different means, about how to incorporate grace into my parenting.  Don't you love it when you just don't seem to get it the first time, so the same lesson keeps popping up over and over and over again?  I'm glad God loves me enough to stick with me, keep working on me, and helping me to maybe finally start to GET this. 

Let me begin by saying I am not a gracious person by nature.  My heart beats more in tune with justice than mercy, and it's hard for me to find that wonderful place of balance in between the two.  Be it with myself, my husband, or my kids, I'm much more likely to hold everyone to the highest standards, lay down the law, make up lists of rules to follow.  I am not naturally inclined to overlook offenses, or keep no record of wrongs.  I'm currently plowing through Sally Clarkson's The Ministry of Motherhood for book club, and the first section is all about how to impart to your children the gift of grace.  Ugh.  So. Thoroughly. Convicted.  The first quote that really got to me was her lesson from Luke 7:

"'For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.'"  This is an important word to us as parents.  Sometimes we feel that we need to play the role of the Holy Spirit in our children's lives and impose great guilt on them so they will be hesitant to sin anymore.  But I don't see this in the life of Jesus.  Yes, Jesus always called his disciples and followers to the highest standards...and yet, wherever he went, Jesus proclaimed forgiveness and extended his gracious forgiveness to all who sought him---including the tax collectors, prostitutes, and even a thief on the cross.  He maintained this same attitude of gentle and gracious forgiveness toward the disciples even as they abandoned him at the cross.  Jesus took the time to personally talk to them about sin and to offer them grace.  And it was this gracious forgiveness, I believe, that opened their hearts so that they "loved much."   Our children need the same kind of gentle graciousness from us if they are to learn to share their vulnerability, to confess their own sin, and to be free to love.  If they fear our strong condemnation and possible rejection, they will hide their sin, perhaps even deceive themselves about the nature of it.  They will definitely not avail themselves of our mature direction in their lives."  (p 54-55, emphasis mine.)

Whew.  Seriously, so convicting, right?  Just wait, it gets better...

Sally offers study/discussion questions at the end of each section in this book, and this one had me thoroughly stumped:

"The Bible makes it clear that we are to discipline and correct our children when they do wrong.  How do you do this faithfully while still giving them the gift of grace?"

I read this through 3 or 4 times last night and honestly had NO IDEA how to answer it.  No idea.  Not even an inkling, folks!  I talked it through with Tim and we were both kind of just shaking our heads.  It has been particularly hard to demonstrate grace to our firstborn in times of disobedience.  She's so sharp that she doesn't miss a thing...so if I ever decide to overlook an offense, or lighten a punishment, (in the name of being 'gracious,')...the whole concept of 'if you give them an inch they'll take a mile' has gone into effect.  For instance, if we don't discipline her the first time for coming out of her bedroom at bedtime, she'll be out of bed, out of her room, 10 or 20 times for the next week.  It's ridiculous!  We've been realizing more and more just how strongly she needs hard and fast boundaries within which to operate.  So that's been our dilemma...how to show grace within the realm of firm boundaries.  Tricky, if you ask me.  

My vague conclusion is that is must boil down to my attitude, especially my attitude in the midst of, and following discipline.  So I've been trying to make a more conscious effort to verbally tell my girls "I love you when you obey AND when you disobey." And realizing that my words don't mean a thing if they're not backed up by my actions.  I need to act towards my children like God acts toward me, and His love for me is unconditional.  And lately I've been realizing how horribly conditional my outward acts of love toward my kids can be.  When they are whining and crabby and kicking and screaming and defiant, my natural instinct is to send them to their room, rather than draw them in, hugging and kissing and snuggling and showing affection.  I love how Ann Voskamp lists this in her Parenting Manifesto of Joy, "Today, the moment when I am most repelled by a child’s behavior, that is my sign to draw the very closest to that child." And this, my friends, is truly unconditional love.  This is how my children will begin to truly understand what grace is...they must see the love of the Father in me.  

This morning at church we sang a song that really helped me wrap my mind more around what this might look like.  It's meant to be sung about my relationship with God, but I think a lot of the lines can also be applied to how I want my kids to view me...as good, love, light, hope, peaceful when they are afraid...obviously the analogy breaks down at some point because death loses its sting in Christ, not me, and I won't reign over the world forever. :)  But you get the gist.  And of course I'm not going to perfectly be all these things to my kids anyway...and my ultimate goal is not to be everything to them, but to point them to Christ.  

Hillsong – Forever Reign

You are good, You are good
When there’s nothing good in me
You are love, You are love
On display for all to see
You are light, You are light
When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sin

You are peace, You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true
Even in my wandering
You are joy, You are joy
You’re the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life,
In You death has lost it’s sting

Oh, I’m running to your arms,
I’m running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here
In your presence I’m made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I’m letting go

Oh, I’m running to your arms
I’m running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

//My heart will sing
no other name
Jesus, Jesus//

//Oh, I’m running to your arms
I’m running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

Anyway, that's a lot of rambling for one post.  Thanks for sticking with me.  I'm really looking forward to listening to Sally Clarkson in person in just 2 weeks!!  If her books are this good I'm sure her conference will not disappoint.  Next up on my reading list is Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus, by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson.  Some good friends have recently read and highly recommended this one to me.  

How about you?  Do you wrestle with how to show grace in the midst of training and disciplining your children?  What has helped you find this balance?

Friday 5

I have finally come to terms with the fact that I am not good at doing the Friday Quick 5 regularly, and I am downright terrible at actually keeping it "Quick."  So I'm dropping the "quick" and going with the Friday 5.  Because let's be honest, I'm home with 3 small children and don't get much adult interaction throughout the week, so consider this one of the lengthiest "conversations" I'll have with an actual grown-up this week.  And it will really feel like a conversation if you leave a comment and let me know you heard me. :)  Thanks.  I promise to keep this week's Friday 5 both random and fun.

1.  After 3 pregnancies in 4 years, I am finally coming to terms with the fact that the hormones have officially done a number on my hair.  It is no longer stick straight, and in fact, has quite a bit of curl!  This morning I decided to stop fighting it and to embrace the curls.  We shall see how this goes.

2.  If I'm really being honest, when we bought our house and I saw the hand held shower head in the main bathroom, all I thought was, "that thing's kind of ugly." But now, having had it for almost 4 years, I would venture to say that I plan on installing one in whatever house we end up with in the future.  I love it!  It makes cleaning the bathtub so much easier.  (When I actually get around to cleaning the tub, which, in reality, is not all that often.)  And it makes rinsing shampoo out of the girls hair so much easier.  It just makes so much sense.  That's all.

3.  Lately I've been struck with a new daily mantra, "Do it now."  Ever heard the phrase "why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?"  That has become my philosophy to successfully managing our house. Why throw those socks on the floor when I can put them away now?  Why leave the dishes on the counter when I can wash them up now?  Seriously, if I have the time, it is SO much easier to just get it done now.  And I was struck with the realization last week that my attitude should be the same way in training my children. "Why put off tomorrow what you can teach today?"  Yes, it would be easier to just take away the fought-over toy, or set a timer and make them take turns, without really dealing with the heart of the issue.  Yes, it takes way more time to stop the girls from their spats and talk through how #1 could have asked nicely instead of grabbing and how #2 should have responded with manners and a polite request instead of screaming, and then making them re-do the whole scenario, and then praying together for God to take selfishness and anger out of our hearts and help us to be thankful and loving towards one another, and yes it seems like that's all we do ALL DAY LONG...but if I take the time to do it now, hopefully they will GET IT before they are teenagers...and just like it's so much more work to do all the day's dishes at 10 p.m. rather than in little bits throughout the day, it would be SO MUCH MORE WORK to try and teach these heart lessons when they are 13 and 15, rather than in these little bits during their little years. And maybe they'll learn to communicate well with one another and become best friends along the way.  That is my hope and prayer.  And even after 1 week of taking painstaking time to work through some specific things with them, we are starting to see bits and pieces of fruit.  I have never seen them play so well together as they did yesterday morning.  Granted, they were both incredibly well-rested, and that makes such a huge difference, but I'm still taking such joy in seeing some fruit!

"Mommy, will you swaddle us up together like Baby Justus and then we can roll around and try to get out?"  They are so funny sometimes!

4.  Two of my nearest and dearest friends emailed me last night and proposed a road trip to Sally Clarkson's MomHeart conference this winter and I could not be more excited.  I loved her book The Mission of Motherhood, and I just started The Ministry of Motherhood, which looks to be just as good as the first one.  The theme of her conference this year is "The Heartshaping Mom ~ How to Open, Fill, and Hold Your Child's Heart," which sounds like exactly what I need right now.  Not to mention 16+ hours in a car chatting it up with great friends.  I'm already refreshed just thinking about it, and really hoping we can make it work!

5.  Click this link to see our family pictures sneak peek.  I'm looking forward to seeing the rest!

And for those grandparents who need their baby fix, I'll leave you with this cute guy.  Happy Friday.

Because...

...sometimes I need a little reminder about what a 'productive' day looks like.

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullaby, rockabye, lullaby loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullaby, rockaby lullaby loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

- Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

Survival

Today was my first day solo with all 3 kids.  By myself.  I have faced this day with not a little trepidation.  Though I haven't gotten around to blogging about it yet, I ended up hemorrhaging after I delivered Justus, so I have been pretty anemic, lightheaded, and just all-around weak for the last 3 weeks.  Thankfully Tim, my mom, and my mother-in-law have all taken time out of their own busy lives to help me out at home with the kids, so I haven't had to take care of all 3 at once for more than an hour or two.  Until today.

I could not have made it through this day without...

• Going to bed at 8:30 last night.
• The prayers of good friends and family.
• The help of my husband with a would-not-go-to-sleep baby in the middle of the night last night.
• Audrey waking up abnormally happy.  (I heard her get up around 6:45, which is a little bit later than normal for her, take off her overnight diaper, and get dressed.  She then came to wake me up, happily reporting that she put her diaper in the diaper champ, picked out her own undies, and got all dressed for the day.  Very pleased with herself.)  :)
• Norah sleeping in until 8:30.  Love that girl and her sleeping-in habit. 
• Tim coming home for an hour to watch the kids so I could make it to a doctor's appointment by myself.  That felt like vacation.
• Lunch being pre-prepared, in the fridge, and ready-to-go.  (Thanks, JoDi, for making that spinach pie last week!  It was exactly what the girls needed for lunch today!)
• www.sesamestreet.org and continuously streaming clips.  Enough said.
• Good friends to send me text messages throughout the day, making sure I was staying sane, keeping me grounded in reality, and offering encouragement.  
• Grace.  

Highlights of the day:

Audrey walking into my room this morning with such a big happy grin on her face, so pleased to report all she accomplished on her own.

Norah biting her toast into a shape at breakfast, holding it up to her face, then looking at Audrey across the table while saying "smile!  Say cheese!" and pretending it was a camera.  Both girls then posing for one another and their toast-cameras.

Realizing I am So. Much. Better. at nursing a baby the 3rd time around.  I can feed Justus while eating breakfast at the table with the kids.  Never could have done that first time around.

Being gone at the doctor's office while Norah blew out her diaper.  :)  Rarely do I get to miss out on those occasions.

Lowlights (just to keep it real):
Justus staying awake for hours the night before, and projectile spitting on me not once but twice between 2 a.m. and 3 a.m., and then taking only three 40-minute naps all day long.

Spilling apple juice all over the table while trying to hold a baby while simultaneously pouring.  I'll stick to just nursing at the table from now on.

Offering an incentive for first-time/joyful obedience to the girls today, and not being able to give out a reward until 4 p.m.  My goodness that took awhile.  We have some work to do.

________________________________________________________

Round 2 tomorrow.  Pretty sure I'm not going to make it to bed by 8:30 tonight, as I still have laundry to fold, dishes to do, and a baby to feed.  So we'll see how I fare without that on my side!


P.S.--who all reads this blog these days?  I don't want to be one of those complainers about lack of commenting...but I really would love to hear from you.  Especially you stay-at-home moms with multiple kiddos.  What tips do you have for surviving successful days at home?  ;)

Friday Quick 5

1.  Our little (big?) man was one week old yesterday.  My, how time flies!  He was already back up to his birth weight by Tuesday.  Yes, he knows how to eat.  

So far Justus fits the bill for 'sleepy baby,' and I am loving it!  We haven't really had a sleepy baby in this house yet, so it is quite refreshing.  I think yesterday he had his most alert/awake day ever, which translated into 3 separate periods of 1 hour of open eyes.  He likes to eat every 2.5 to 3 hours around the clock, but as long as I get to bed on time I'm totally okay with that.  In the middle of the night he eats, gets his diaper changed, I try to feed him a little bit more (for my own comfort!) but he's usually so cashed out that he won't hardly open his mouth.  So we all go back to sleep.  Repeat cycle.

2.  The girls are adjusting very well to the change in pace.  Thankfully Tim has been off work most of this week, so I have had lots of help corralling them.  They adore Baby Justus, love to hold him and give him kisses, make silly faces at him to see if they can get him to smile, and Norah especially is quite distraught whenever he cries.  Thankfully this happens very little.

"Peek-a-boo baby Justus!"

Sometimes the only word to define these girls is squirrelly. 

Norah simply adores him.  The running dialogue out of her mouth when she's holding him goes something like this, "wook!  He has 2 eyes!  And he has a nose!  And a mouth!  Wook!  He's moving his hands!  He's trying to eat his jammies!  His eyes are open!  Does he have toes?  Can I see his toes?  Can I kiss his toes?"  And on.....and on.....and on.....  Her favorite feature of all, though, unfortunately just fell off.  All week long she's been asking "May I see his umbilican cord, please?"

 

3.  I am feeling surprisingly well-rested (many thanks to my husband for letting me stay in bed until 8 or 9 most mornings this week!) I get worn out pretty quickly anytime I try to do too much, though, due to my complication of post-partum hemorrhage.  This is the second time I've gone through it, so it helps knowing not to expect too much of myself.  For now I'll take my iron supplements and patiently wait for my hemoglobin counts to come back up.  It will be nice to have some energy again!  Thanks to all who prayed for a safe labor and delivery...God definitely had His hand on me, as I narrowly avoided an emergency D & C to stop the bleeding.  I have also been surprisingly un-emotional this time around, and am thanking the good Lord for stable hormones!  Praying this continues, too.  ;)  Post-partum depression and I are unfortunately not strangers, and I sure would like to avoid getting re-acquainted this time around.  So far we are all keeping our sense of humor and in general just enjoying one another.

Oh, Justus, you have no idea what kind of family you've been born into...

Audrey kept saying, "let's take a kissing picture!" 

And then these silly girls wouldn't stop kissing each other!  So fun, these moments when they get along. ;)

4.  One of Audrey's favorite things about getting less attention around these parts is the newfound freedom of dressing herself.  This is what she chose to come and visit me in the hospital one morning; I think the theme was "flowers"...

  

And Norah has enjoyed the status of "big sister."  Can't you just see the pride in her eyes?

She loves to help me take care of "Baby Justus."  She asked if she could change his diaper yesterday.  I told her she could help me open it.  She proudly took the diaper and pulled open both the tabs, declaring "I can open it all by myself, because I'm REAWY strong!"  Wherever she is in the house, if she hears Justus sneeze, she is the first one to say "bwess you, baby Justus!" each and every time.  That will never get old.

5.  Last but not least I want to share with you a link to an excellent article that perfectly fits the bill for this season of life I find myself in.  Thanks to my friend Sheryl for posting it on Facebook!  It's called Motherhood is Application.  One of my (many) favorite quotes from the article:

The gospel is not just something to talk about Sunday morning while you are in clean clothes and the kids are looking orderly. It is not limited to quiet times and reflective moods. It is something to apply while you are in a difficult position in the back of the car trying to buckle a child up who is playing the kazoo and needs their nose wiped.

God is not above these moments. He is teaching us, and leading us, and refining us, in them. He wants to see our faith in action. He wants to see us feeding our children with the grace that he has given to us.

If you are a mother with small children, I highly recommend taking 5 minutes to read this!

Happy Friday from our family to yours!

Life Made Easier: the Nursing Basket

Life Made Easier...remember that nifty blog series I was planning on starting?  Like, a WAY long time ago?  Well, it's back.  For just a moment at least.  I don't think I ever made any promises as to how often I would offer these suggestions for simplifying random aspects of every day life.  But this topic seemed to fit the bill, and I've been meaning to write it for a looooong time.  So here you go.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *    *     *

To ease the transition from 1 child to 2, I planned waaaaay ahead.  One of the things I did was go into preterm labor, and end up on bedrest for 6 weeks prior to delivery.  Nothing like cold turkey not being able to pick up, hold, or generally care for your 18 month old to get them ready for a new baby in the house.

I'm kidding of course.  I didn't plan on my appendix rupturing during my 7th month of pregnancy.  Stuff happens.  But as hard as it was, I really do think it helped to prepare Audrey for not having my undivided attention when Norah arrived!

All kidding aside, one thing I did plan for was to have a 'nursing basket' prepared and ready-to-go for Audrey's entertainment for all those hours I knew my hands would be full feeding a newborn.  This time around I would (obviously!) like to avoid going the bedrest route for preparing Norah for the big change that's going to happen when she's suddenly faced with being a Big sister.  So I'm preparing to reinstitute Project: Nursing Basket around these parts.

What is a 'nursing basket?' you might be asking?  I got the idea here, in the comments section of this brief post on Entertaining Littles with a New Baby.  Basically, over the last few months of my pregnancy I slowly accumulated a handful of new toys, puzzles, and activities that I thought would be new and novel and help keep Audrey occupied, and looking forward to, the times when I was nursing (or otherwise busy with) the baby.  And she loved it!  The basket was kept in Norah's room, so when feeding time rolled around, we all hung out in the nursery together.  And when feeding time was over, the new toys were put back in the basket and not allowed out until the next feeding.  By doing it this way, Audrey actually looked forward to my being 'tied up' feeding Norah, because it meant she got to play with new stuff!  Win-win!

Some of the items in her basket included:

Melissa and Doug's Abby and Emma Magnetic Dress-up dolls.  

Melissa and Doug Wooden Bear Family Dress-up puzzle

Alex, Learn-to-Dress Monkey

Crayola Color Wonder Markers and Color Wonder Coloring Books

Infantino Puzzles, such as "Where's My Tail?"

...and Matching Colors and Textures

(for what it's worth, the Tails puzzle has been much more entertaining for both of my kiddos than this matching one has.)

Mr. Potato Head Silly Suitcase

She also had a handful of new coloring books, stickers, etc., but I found that the Color Wonder markers were by far the most practical 'craft' item for her to use (safely) while I was occupied.

Some of these toys eventually graduated to become "shower toys."  AKA: they have too many small pieces to be relegated to the regular toy bin in the living room without driving me crazy, so they stay shut up on a shelf in a closet, and are retrieved during key times during the day when Mommy needs to get something important done, like take a shower.  Audrey frequently chooses Abby and Emma to sit and play with while I'm showering in the morning.  Norah usually opts for Mr. Potato Head when I'm blowing my hair dry.  I love how the 'nursing basket' concept has morphed and changed with the needs of our family. :)

So...this brings me to the point of today's post.  I'm trying to come up with some ideas for just a few 'new' things to accumulate over the next few months, for Norah in particular, to occupy her during some of the more difficult hours as we transition to becoming a family of 5.  Some of the toys above are still pretty new to her, so I'll just keep them in hiding for a few months prior to baby's arrival so they seem fresh and interesting.  But it would be nice to add a few more.  Mrs. Potato Head's Silly Suitcase is on order from Amazon as we speak.  It's going to work out well that Norah's birthday is in June, and Audrey's will follow in September, just a few weeks after baby is born, so we can strategically purchase a few things as birthday presents, too!

So I'm asking you, readers, for suggestions and advice.  Any fun, educational toys that your kids love and that you would highly recommend?  Any other thoughts about easing into the transition to a new baby when you have particularly small children around?  (We will have 3 kids under the age of 4 for a few weeks in August and September.)  Yikes!

Would love to hear from you!

Life Lessons

Awhile back I was inspired by this post.  I often get overwhelmed by all the things I want to teach my children; life skills, values I want to instill in them, character traits I pray they will possess, and on and on.  What a great idea to make a list and write it all down!  (Anything that involves list-making...sign me up, please.)  And when I start to get frustrated as the laundry piles up and the dust bunnies take over, naps go poorly and accidents happen on the living room carpet, this will be a wonderful tool for me to refocus, and remember that the time I have with my children is short, and these are the most important things.

So last April, (a year ago!  that's how long it's taken me to finish this post!) while driving down I-80 on a road trip, Tim and I compiled the following list together.  After we finished it, we realized that not all, but many of these 'life lessons,' so to speak, could be found in the Bible.  I decided to wait and post this once I found scripture references to back up our points, and let me just say, it's taken awhile! Interestingly, as I searched through the Bible to find verses that support our convictions, I found quite a few more overarching principles to add to our list!  This will definitely remain a work in progress.  So without further ado...

By God's grace, these are life lessons we pray our children will grow to learn and embrace and eventually pass on to others:

Love Jesus. (Matthew 22:36-38, Ephesians 3:14-19, Ephesians 6:24, John 14:15)
Fear God, and obey Him. (Deuteronomy 5:29, 6:13, 10:12-13, 10:20, Ecclesiastes 12:13)
Trust God. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Love people. (Matthew 22:36-40, 1 Thessalonians 3:12, Ephesians 5:2)
Serve others. (Philippians 2:3-4, Romans 12:10)

Give generously. (Romans 12:13, Proverbs 11:25)
Practice hospitality.  (Romans 12:13)
Be content. (Philippians 4:11-13)
Love God's word.  Memorize it.  Meditate on it.  (Psalm 119:9-16, Colossians 3:16, Deuteronomy 6:6-9)
Be teachable. (Proverbs 16:20)
Live simply.  (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12)
Pursue purity. (Matthew 5:8, 1 Timothy 4:12, Romans 12:1, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
Pray.  A lot.  (Ephesians 6:18, Colossians 4:2, Philippians 4:6, 1 Thessalonians 5:17)
Choose joy. (And find joy in little, everyday things.) (Proverbs 17:22, 1 Thessalonians 5:16)

Learn from your mistakes.  (Proverbs 26:11)
Seek peace, and be a peacemaker.  (Romans 14:19, 2 Thessalonians 3:16, Matthew 5:9, Colossians 3:15)
Be humble.  (Proverbs 3:7-8, 29:23)
Try new things.

Associate with low people. (Romans 12:16)
Use your God-given gifts. (To glorify God, serve others, and when making education and career choices.) (Romans 12:6)
Pursue wisdom (versus knowledge.)  (Proverbs 2, Proverbs 4:5-9, Ephesians 1:17-19)
Respect authority. (Romans 13:1)
Stay physically fit.  (Proverbs 31:17, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, Romans 12:1)

(or at least try.) ;)

Steward money well.  (Proverbs 31:16, Matthew 25:14-30)
Work hard; work joyfully. (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12, Colossians 3:23, Proverbs 31:13, 2 Thessalonians 3:7-13)
Experience manual labor. (Proverbs 31:17)
Rest.  (Genesis 2:2-3, Psalm 37:7, Hebrews 4:9-11)

Make music.  (Ephesians 5:19-20, Psalms)

Worship God all the time.  (1 Corinthians 10:31, Psalm 96:8-10, Psalm 59:15-17, Philippians 4:4)
Read good books.

Choose quality friends. (Proverbs 17:17, 27:17)
Be a faithful friend. (Proverbs 3:3-4)
Create.  (Build, paint, plant, draw, sing, bake, play an instrument, write, compose.)

Live responsibly. (Take good care of God's creation, don't be wasteful, consume less.)
Eat wholesome food.  (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

Think eternally.  (Colossians 3:1-2)
Set goals.
Follow through.
Serve the poor (with compassion). (Colossians 3:12, Proverbs 14:21, 19:17, 31:20)
Be resourceful.

Be thankful.  (Colossians 3:15, 1 Thessalonians 5:18)
Practice patience regularly. (1 Corinthians 13:4, Colossians 1:10-12, 3:12, Galatians 5:22-23)
Strive to be a blessing to, not a burden on, others. (2 Thessalonians 3:8, 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12)
Use time wisely.  (Ephesians 5:15-17)
Laugh.  A lot.  (At yourself!)  (Psalm 126:2-3, Proverbs 15:30)

Forgive. (Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32)

Choose words carefully and be slow to speak. (Colossians 4:6, Proverbs 15:1, 17:14, 27-28, 10:19, 29:20)
Be slow to get angry. (Proverbs 14:29, Proverbs 16:32, Proverbs 29:11, Ecclesiastes 7:9)
Tell the truth. (Proverbs 24:26)

Thinking/praying through and making this list has led to 2 major thoughts that keep swirling around in my head:
1) How can I NOT home school?  Where will we find enough time in the day to really instill these values in our kids if we only have a few hours (when everyone is likely tired and cranky) at the end of the day together? 
2)  Yikes.  I need to learn these lessons myself, and start demonstrating them, if I want to give my kids half a chance at picking them up, too!   God give me grace.

How about you?  What's on your list?